Clutterbusting Tension: An Ongoing Process

This morning I rolled out of bed at 6 am, confident I had the energy to tackle laundry day, and the kitchen, as well as the rest of the dozen or so tasks I wrote on my to-do list last night. As I look back, I just laugh.

By 11 am, I had straightened up the bathroom, clean up about half of the kitchen, picked up all the laundry clutter, and was on maybe my second or third load of clothes. And I was so tired. Sleepy tired, rather than physically exhausted.

I decided a 20 minute power nap just might give me the energy boost I needed to finish the laundry today. To help myself get to sleep, I did a relaxation meditation to help me keep my brain from running off on a tangent. Just a simple releasing of tension in the muscles, one body part at a time. Shouldn't take more than 5 minutes for me to get bored and nod off.

I imagined a black hole sucking out all the stress from my feet to my head, then back again. And again. And again.

I noticed that every time I had something relaxed, and moved on, the tension would creep back in to the area I just finished with. By the time I started hearing dream voices (the sign I'm starting to fall asleep), my timer went off.

I hadn't realized just how tense I was. My shoulders were stiff all last week. And I still didn't realize.

I woke up Monday morning unable to turn my head without muscle pain. And I still. Didn't. Realize.

This probably explains why I haven't been sleeping well at night. I wake up at such random hours. If I wake up at 3 or 4 am, I'm lucky to get back to sleep, and then I'm so tired after I drop the kid off at school that I spend most of the day laying in bed. Trying to sleep. Usually failing.

Other times I don't drag my butt out of bed until I've got 20 minutes to get the kid to school.

When I finally did get to sleep, I was lucid (as usual with naps), and everyone I encountered kept poking me with stuff (Nerf arrows, pens, their fingers). This is why I hate to take naps. I realize I'm dreaming, but I get paranoid, and don't have the confidence anymore to control the dream. I just try to pull out of it (usually with multiple false wakings).

I slept 10 minutes before I gave up. It did help, though. For a little while.

My neck and shoulders still hurt when I move them. I'll keep doing the relaxation meditation each night when I go to bed. I think it will help eventually.